Busy week!

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of hilarious, stressful and amazing experiences. Here's a few examples:

- A bird flew into my mom's house while dogsitting all 3 dogs. No, not into the window, into the house! You can imagine how hilarious it would have been to see me trying to catch a tiny bird who can barely fly while preventing 3 hungry dogs from killing it, but also being too scared to just grab it. 20 minutes later and with the help of my moms gardening gloves - success
- One of the craziest storms I've ever seen. Winds of 105 km/h. Poor dog was literally blown off the porch, and my mom's backyard swing flew across the yard and snapped her new tree in half
- Met some of the sketchiest landlords to date. Apparently in Toronto, there are no standards for professionalism in the apartment industry. Some real dingy places too. The landlord in one building literally took us up to someones apartment, banged on the door, and after the tenant said just a minute he entered anyway! Not cool.

This week proves to be crazy yet again... but I'm happy to no longer be juggling 3 dogs, 2 cats, an apartment and a house! Chaos. On the docket for this week: Mike's home tonight so BBQ time, Mom's home tomorrow, Andy's home Sunday, golf tournament Monday and graduation Tuesday!

I can't believe it's just over 2 weeks til I'm reunited with the mountains. Surreal.

Karma

This weekend helped reinstate my belief that doing good things for others and living a life of love and selflessness will get you where you want to be in life. For the past year I've struggled with the fact that being nice often does not work out well in the career/school/social realm of things. I've had my fair share of being overly nice and getting kicked for doing so, so I'm glad that karma is finally on my side. Although it may be a bit selfish of me to really want this placement as it is exactly what I wish to do for myself in the future, I'd like to think it's a bit selfless in that what I want is to find a placement opportunity that will lead me to help the most vulnerable and room to grow in order to help more in the future.

So thankful that everything is falling into place after struggling to get through the last year. I now have the opportunity to be in an amazing program that meets my needs, a placement that will help me grow in the field that I love, and a huge supportive group of friends and family all around me. Life couldn't get much sweeter!

Lovely quote

This was the weekly "pause and wonder" on the blog kept by the Sisters. Love it.

"Real love leads beyond the lovers to others. Love expands. Love is inclusive. It enlarges the soul; it enlarges one’s actions, one’s politics, one’s economics, one’s thoughts. Love is not self-serving or exclusive. It expands consciousness and births imagination, it struggles for justice, it stands in solidarity, it dares, it fights, it blossoms into compassion."

A sense of urgency

Every time I try to take my life forward something tries to hold me back. Not this time. I am so tired of fighting against my body and against all the other struggles and roadblocks life throws my way. It's time to conquer them and take charge. Because for once, I have the time and the strength and motivation to do this.

The time is now.

Committing to a 3 month membership of hot yoga for the summer. I've learned its as effective as jogging for an hour and boy does it feel like it. Since running and I aren't friends, due to my good friend asthma, I'm pursuing hot yoga and strength training again to get my life back on track. Eatin right and feeling better is my focus.

Trying new things

Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is. - Mary Anne Radmacher

I just wrote a big post on my love for hot yoga and the experiences I've had previously that inspired me to pursue this as a new interest. However, when I published it, nothing appeared.


Needless to say - I love hot yoga. Everything about is what I've been looking for. Gaining strength. Feeling recharged and renewed. Feeling a sense of community and inspiration. Pushing myself past limits I held for myself. Staying hydrated and eating right. Structure. Routine.


It's amazing. My focus on personal wellness is growing exponentially. Because if I'm not healthy and taking care of myself, how am I supposed to take care of those that surround me? Change is happening. Big time.

One of my favourite poems...

The Dance
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I have sent you my invitation,
the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living.
Don't jump up and shout, "Yes, this is what I want! Let's do it!"
Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
spiralling down into the ache within the ache.
And I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, everyday.

Don't tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart.
Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without
abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
And see who I am in the stories I am living.
And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don't tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.
Show me you can risk being completely at peace,
truly OK with the way things are right now in this moment,
and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall,
to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the
clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other,
let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving
those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance,
the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet
and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business
without letting business determine who you are.
When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us
shout that soul's desires have too high a price,
let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world
the stories and the songs you want our children's children to remember,
and I will show you how I struggle
not to change the world, but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude,
knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging.
Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words,
holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest
intentions has died away on the wind,
dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale
of the breath that is breathing us all into being,
not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don't say, "Yes!"
Just take my hand and dance with me.

Welcome

A long time ago I started up a blog but never really got into it. My passion for writing faded, my time got consumed with more and more school, work, etc and I no longer found any therapeutic purpose for writing. What I failed to realize though, was that even though it's all online, the lack of writing created a black hole of lost memories along the way. This time in my life is full of more changes than ever before, and even though life appears to be even more chaotic than when I last stopped writing I feel much more peaceful, reflective and driven than ever before.

If you asked me a year ago what my summer would consist of I never would have predicted anything happening in my life currently. Peru was never a thought in my mind. I never thought I'd ever become a Torontonian. Taking a summer almost entirely off except for a part-time job was not an option. The people I'm surrounded with have changed, with the same dear friends close to my heart. I never thought my grandma wouldn't be here to see me graduate.

It's amazing how so much can change in such a little piece of time. This time last year was one of the most difficult periods of my life. My relationship was dissolving, my faith had dwindled, I was working three jobs and was completely unhappy. Now, my life's taken a 180 and I couldn't be more filled with hope, faith and love. Hope for my future and those around me. Faith that grows daily on both a spirital and humanitarian level. Love for my friends, my family, and the many lives I've crossed along my life journey.

Who knows that this next year has in store for me. One thing is for sure, I want to keep some kind of recollection of what happens along the way. And to keep more in touch of those surrouding me. Because without love, what joy is life? Love is what keeps me fueled, keeps me strong and full of passion.

Happy reading folks.